I think being jealous and judgmental towards ex- and non-JW's in endemic in ze Organization (pronounced in my best Nazi accent). Any JW who is successful obviously has the big J's blessing. Any ex- or non-JW obviously owes his or her success to Satan. "They're living in THEIR paradise now!" Usually said in an undertone dripping with sarcasm and resentment. How often have you heard that?
Even though I am officially neither DA nor DF, certain family members give me the full shun treatment nonetheless. Others only appear to do so when another JW might find out we're in contact and look askance. Gotta keep up appearances, you know. Still others carry on normally as they always have.
Some of the ones most stringent in their shunning have their own skeletons in the closet. Deep dark family secrets that, if exposed, would seriously jeopardize their standing in the congregation. One who does not shun me has been disfellowshipped more than once but is currently in. He absolutely glories in regaling me and others about his exploits while disfellowshipped. No sign of repentance or regret at all. I truly believe he does not practice any of those things now, but he really enjoys telling those stories and I can tell he loves reliving his wild and hairy days. And when he gets upset about something, let's just say his language could make a sailor blush.
Of course, when somebody needs something, I'm the first one they call. I have loaned or given money to more than one, with no expectation of repayment. I have never once mentioned the incident to the persons involved or reminded them of it in any way. And I have always made the recipients promise to keep it a secret between them and me. Otherwise, I'd be hit up even more. But still, I can't be invited to most family events or even share a restaurant meal when certain family members are present because "he's really an apostate, the brothers just haven't dealt with him yet."
Some of my relatives are extremely smart and well-read, a few highly educated, and at least one has a genius IQ. But cognitive dissonance runs rampant like a virulent cancer, shutting down all critical reasoning and independent thought. They simply refuse to hear anything that could possibly be interpreted as negative about the Society or their beloved Governing Body. They practically worship everything "the Slave" says. (Now there's a misnomer if ever there was one.) The "brothers" can do no wrong. I've given up trying to reason with them or even point out obvious contradictions in their own literature. Official news reports that might put the Organization in a bad light are either outright lies or "demon-inspired" efforts to make them look bad. As someone said, "There are none so blind as those who will not see."
Still, I wish them all well and bear no animus towards any of them. I guess I pity them in a way. If they could just stand back and take a good hard look at themselves without preconceived notions, they'd be shocked. But they are blinded by the Truth© and dare not open their eyes lest it undermine their whole lives and upset their little apple cart.
Rant concluded. Resume normal operations.
